plans

so, it's been some time since i last posted, mainly because life has gotten busy-ish (which is how i like it) and blogging isn't so much a priority. but also i've been thinking about a lot of things, which i can do quite easily since i'm a girl. lots of things, kind of heavy things, but very good things that i am now moving forward in processing. so yeah, i will share a few in this post. but first, not-so-heavy things/events to let you all in on.

two weeks ago, i got to spend a day at the Cape with a friend. (the "Cape" is Cape Cod). i've been to the Cape a couple times before, and it's always beautiful and definitely never gets old. this time was unique because it's fall, so everything was in different hues and colors. also, no one was there except the locals, which was great. my friend and i drove scenic route 6A, and took lots of pictures, and hung out at the beach for a couple hours. it was great time with a friend, and also great solitude time as well, as we went exploring in different directions while on the beach. it was just a great day.

last weekend, i got to go camping and hiking in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. it was a short trip, but even just one night of sleeping under the stars was a needed escape from urban life. don't get me wrong, i do love life in the city and all, but mountains and the ocean are practically in my backyard...and i LOVE anything having to do with mountians and forests and water and oceans. i don't think i will ever get used to the fact taht the mountians are 1.5 hours away, and i can pretty much see the ocean whenever i want. amazing. i love it.

so today i visited Eitz Chayim, a Jewish congregation that is a couple blocks from my apt. they have lectures on sundays, and today's was on building Abrahamic partnerships...basically, how Jews and Christians and Muslims can be an interfaith community of learning. the guy who gave the lecture had some pretty interesting points, and while i didn't agree with everything he said, i did walk away with some new perspectives. plus, this was my first visit to a Jewish congregation and i am learning Hebrew (slowly). so, it was good.

so i've been listening to Death Cab's new cd, Plans, a lot lately. thus, the title of this post. great music, great lyrics. you should get it.

now for some deeper thoughts. and i probably won't be super deep b/c this is a blog, not my journal. one thing i've been wrestling with in my mind lately goes along the lines of, what are the driving forces behind the passions in my heart? like, for example, there are so many things i want to do in this life, too many to list here; a couple of those things involve living outside the US at some point, namely the continent of Africa. and then i think about how i would love to go here and do this, and go there and do that, and if i think about it long enough, i have from now until the time i'm 70 all taken up. but, i wonder, do i have the passion to go and do all these things because i really want to go and i really want to help people? 100%? or is it because i want to be transient, always meeting new people and changing locations often enough that i never fade away or am forgotten, but i'm always a new face to someone, some group of people, some place? or maybe i want to just do diffenent things involving ministry, or social justice, or medicine, or whatever because i would be constantly surrounded and working with those that have the same passions, and that would be, in a sense, comfortable. i thought all of this out loud while walking home one night, half hashing it through my mind, half praying. the next day some cool stuff happened, and it's a story in itself, so i'll just say, God showed me some things about my heart that i needed to see. it was good.

things with Sojourn are going really well, but i must be honest: working in ministry is hard. and starting a ministry is even harder. in many ways we see how it likens itself to starting a business, and i am pretty clueless when it comes to that kind of stuff. but, i am learning...i think we all are. i like it, and i'm excited.

much of the time i wonder if i am cut out for this, for being a campus minister. i mean seriously...who am i to be a minister for Jesus when i do a pretty poor job of representing Him, in my thoughts and my knowledge and my heart and my love? i'm just...me. thankfully and graciously, my God is God, and He supersedes anything that i was, and am, and will ever be. good news, indeed.

ok...it's late and work is early. if you made it through to the end, thanks, and i'm proud of you. :) g'nite friends.