things i thought i'd never say, and other thoughts

example #1: "i work at harvard."

yes friends, i got the job at harvard! i'll be working at the athletic center part-time, working the front desk and washing towels and other miscellaneous things. i go for training tomorrow, so i will know more then.

the whole harvard job is so God. and the interview...yeah, it was great, but not for the reasons i thought it would be. so i walk into the interview on friday, and the woman is skimming over my resume, and she comments that i went to purdue. so she asks when i graduated, and then asks if i know a girl named kristi [i'm withholding the last name here]. well, yeah! kristi and i have been friends since practically our first day at purdue, we played lacrosse together, were both super-involved in campus house, even worked at the same coffee shop...yeah, i know kristi. :) so, i'm thinking, wow, small world! it gets better...the woman keeps looking at my resume and notices that i worked at springhill camp. so i'm like, yeah, i worked there back in the summer of '02, and she asks me if i remember a girl named miriam [again, withholding last name]. i say, yeah! and she says, "that's my little sister."

as i walked out of the interview, i pretty much knew i had the job. not because the interview was great (it was), but more because of the connections. i mean seriously, there are 40,000 students at purdue and millions of people here, and this was not coincidence in any form. i smiled and kinda laughed on the way home, you know, a joyful laugh. God just blows my mind sometimes, and i think He is [still] trying to get me to expect the unexpected. so yeah, i have a part-time job, i'll be getting to interact with college kids a lot, i have some pretty crazy connections with my boss, and to top it off, i get free gym membership. yep, God is taking really good care of me here.

example #2: "my butt smells like moth balls."

to my knowledge, no one has actually heard me say this, as it's only been said to myself in the privacy of my room. so, i got this chair on saturday at a yard sale. it is a sweet chair, exactly what i had been looking for: simple, wooden, painted white, $10. the people that sold it to be also gave me this black cushion, which is great because it goes perfectly with my black/soft yellow/green motif in my room. it wasn't until i got the chair home that i realized the cushion smells like moth balls, and pretty strongly at that. but i still use it, and thus, i am decently certain that my butt now smells like moth balls. :)

final thoughts for the night. i have had a LOT on my mind lately, and this is just one topic, but it's a big one. i have thought, and tried to pray a lot for the people of the gulf coast. but it's hard for me to pray about it, and it's hard for me to give money (since i really don't have any), because all i really want to do is just get down to louisiana or mississippi or even houston and help...sorting supplies, playing with some kids, talking to the people. and, i can't do that, for numerous reasons. so i feel trapped...my desire to serve and help these people is not able to be fulfilled by an action. or at least, a tangible one.

this leads me to think about how much i really desire to help people. it's huge. this is why i am part of a team in boston trying to start a campus ministry and a church, to help people find their way back to God. this is why i am volunteering at an inner-city charter high school, tutoring kids for 10 hours/week, helping them learn and have a greater confidence. this is why i hope to return to school at some point for nursing or education. i just want to help people. but this is not my deepest desire...more than anything, i really just want to love and know my God. and because of this desire, i am able to love and help people, and that in turn reveals new attributes of God to me and grows my love for Him. so it's a pretty sweet cycle. but i know, and have been very aware as of late, that my desire to help can not overcome or get in the way of my desire to be with my God. i know of several times in my life that i have allowed this to happen, and God has not hesitated to call me out on it. so yeah, there is really no conclusion to all of this thinking, aside from the fact that i want my desires to be in their respective places. all this thinking just leads me to more questions, about what i need to be doing in boston, what i need to be doing a couple years from now, but more than anything, what i need to be doing today. and i think i need to just focus on that last one, and that will eliminate most all my other questions. one day at a time, kimmy, one day at a time.