what runners may come

You swear you recall nothing at all
That could make you come back down
You made up your mind to leave it all behind
Now you're forced to fight it out

You fall away from your past
But it's following you

You left something undone, it's now your rerun
It's the one you can't erase
You should have made it right, so you wouldn't have to fight
To put a smile back on your face

You fall away from your past
But it's following you
You fall away

Something I've done that I can't outrun
Maybe you should wait maybe you should run
But there's something you've said that can't be undone

And you fall away from your past
But It's following you

You fall away
It's following you

- Fall Away, The Fray

regina spektor and the fray are my two newest loves. you should check them out.

along with that, the book The End of Poverty, by Jeff Sachs. incredible.

Sojourn things are really picking up, and so is my attitude, which has kind of sucked in recent weeks. so that's very exciting/encouraging. we have a weekly meeting for BU undergrads, as well as a weekly meeting for grad students throughout the city. and we should have our offices (shared with the Reunion guys) soon! [oh yeah, p.s. the Boston Partnership church-plant we are kind of partnering with, chose the name Reunion Christian Church a while back...and they are due to launch in less than 4 weeks.]

um, yeah. that's the very condensed version of new news, and it's the most important, i think.

i've been pretty torn lately, with way too much to mention here, but basically with thoughts on what is to come...and where and why i fit into whatever that is. when i stop and am real with myself, i am confident with whatever the whatever is. but many (wasted) minutes of my day are spent trying to tame my restlessness, or attempting to gather the little pieces of confidence left over from hearty blows to my soul, or wrestling with the daydreaming of new and fresh adventures while focusing on my work here. why can't i settle? where is contentment? why, when knowing and loving vulnerability, is it still so stinkin' hard? and from where do those stupid walls in my heart come?

don't get me wrong, i really love my life here, this far-from-mainstream life God has opened up to me. but the weeks, and days, and literally the hours of some days can be pretty rollercoaster-ish. if the foundation of my life is God, how can that be? i think a lot of it comes down to trust...and for that, i share with you a story:

i was running the other day, testing out my brand new running shoes, which was super exciting. anyway, i was approaching a rather busy intersection, so i thought to slow a bit, but the light was green so even a block away, i was totally going for it. on my right i was shadowed by a large, ugly brick building...on my left, i checked for cars...all clear. and then it happened. as soon as my foot fell in line with the building's cornerstone, BAM! a runner coming from the right barreled into me...or maybe i slammed into her. in either case, it was my first experience of literally running into someone while running. and honestly, after the initial shock and pain, it was pretty hilarious, i'm sure especially to any witnessing motorists.

i realized i put a lot of trust into my feet and my shoes (and as i get older, my knees) when i run. and, up until the other day, i guess i gave a fair amount of trust to my peripheral vision and my fellow runners as well. and the funny thing is, none of those things ever asked to be trusted, really. but Jesus asks me for my trust, to get up and follow Him. and i do; and i will. but i want to do a better job of that, you know? really lay it all out there, and not fear the unseen headphones-blaring-in-their-own-world runner; not fear whatever the whatever is.

slowly and steadily, my trust is deepening. and that's really, really good.